April 21-22 IT

Apr 21-22 IT

Welcome to the third week of our sermon series called Finding Hope in Family Conflict. This week our conversation revolves around what we want and how we go about obtaining IT. We see God working in, through and around another family conflict.


Building healthy and life-giving relationships.


What has been new or challenging in your life since last time the group met? Spend 20–30 minutes checking in with each other.

Share Part of Your Story

As a kid or teen, what was something that you thought you needed to have or do to be cool?


Our church family has endured a tragedy this week and many of us are going through other difficult situations. How can we pray for each other in and through times of grief?


Taking next steps toward Christ together.

Have someone retell the story of Genesis 29. Who are the main characters? Where is the setting? What are the big issues? What stands out to you as interesting in the story?

What is IT?

Jacob loved and wanted to marry Rachel. How long did he work to get her as his wife? How do you think Rachel was an IT for Jacob?

There are often things we would do almost anything for, believing it will give us our “happily ever after.” When we get there or attain it, we think it will finally complete us or make us feel like we have arrived. What are some ITs in our culture? What do you feel could become an IT for you?

How am I pursuing IT?

Laban deceives Jacob to get what he wants. Jacob has deceived in the past to get what he wants. How did they both deceive people?  What’s their method of deception?

Sometimes we can pursue something good, but in the wrong way. How does this happen? What can going after good things in a wrong way look like?

God seems to care deeply how we go after IT. Sometimes when we think we won’t be able to get what we want, we can compromise our values. Where do you find yourself tempted to compromise when going after something you want?

Sometimes the reason we find ourselves grasping or spending a lot of time worrying over a situation boils down to trusting God with our heart and our desires. When have you found it difficult to turn over your dreams to God? Where should we put God in the process of getting what we desire? Where do we tend to put him?

Do I envy IT?

Leah and Rachel fell into a comparison trap. What was the IT for Leah? For Rachel? How were they comparing themselves to each other? What are some common areas people compare themselves in?

Discuss this statement. We can never really win the comparison game because someone will always have more. How often have you found yourself observing others and wishing you were in their shoes? What comparisons can you draw from Leah and Rachel wanting what the other had to your own life situations?

What are some ways social media is a comparison trap? Consider your social media habits. How can both scrolling and posting be a comparison issue?

What are a couple practical steps you could take to stay healthy and to guard against the trap of comparison?

Will I exchange IT?

Leah has four children in the story. How is the birth of this fourth child different? What do you think Leah has learned?

How have you, like Leah, pursued IT only to realize IT wasn’t what you needed? What happened?

We will only really be satisfied through a relationship with God. Share about a time when you felt like you understood what it meant to find your purpose in your identity as a beloved child of God.

We are all made differently and our hearts are filled in different ways. What ways do you connect most deeply with your Creator personally? Encourage each other to make a plan this week to spend time connecting with God in a way that fills you.

This week’s conversation was about four ideas around our IT—what we want, how we get what we want, when others have what we want, and what we want isn’t really what we need. Which of these four conversations resonated with you? What’s one step you can take this week to move closer to God in your trust of him with your life and your IT?


Valuing people outside the group and outside the faith.

Group Growth

Have a conversation about what’s next for your group. What are you going to do this summer? Is there someone you know who could benefit from joining your group? Is there someone in your group who should be leading a new group this fall?

Download a printable PDF here.